7 Tips from Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff… by Richard Carlson, Ph.D. is book with 100 tips on how to live life as peacefully and caring as possible. It’s all great stuff, honestly, and I wanted to highlight some chapters that really spoke to me and how we could apply it within the school setting.
So here are 7 tips inspired by Dr. Carlson!
1. Be Aware of the Snowball Effect of Your Thinking (Ch. 4)
It’s a bit cheesy, cliché, and overplayed but we have all heard of the “snowball effect” and can honestly imagine what it looks like in our heads.
For me, I think of quite literally a snowball rolling down a hill, ensnaring more snow, and gaining momentum until it becomes a monstrosity like an Indiana Jones scene or a Mario Party minigame (I swear that was one).
And to be quite honest with you readers, I struggle with this badly to this day.
However, I try to remember this quote:
“I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” - Mark Twain
To piggyback off the idea of making peace with the imperfections in our classrooms or personal lives, sometimes we need to ‘nip it in the bud’ as Dr. Carlson says.
Perhaps that is screaming the words “STOP!” (in your head and not out loud in front of the kids, please for the love of [insert your preferred religious deity]).
Or calmly reminding yourself to get a grip.
Or reassuring that, hey, maybe we just don’t know what will happen and should let life play things out.
We don’t want to continuously fall prey to this snowball effect.
So next time if you catch yourself digging deep down the rabbit holes and catastrophizing the next series of events in your life, try anything to bring yourself back to reality (Snap back to reality, oh, there goes gravity. Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked, he's so mad. But he won't give up that easy, no, he won't have it…)
2. Develop Your Compassion (Ch. 5)
I really like this one because I feel this is can take so many shapes and can start small so everyone can interpret or ‘choose their own adventure’ on how this looks.
Dr. Carlson explains how compassion can be developed with practice (this is important because it reinforces how practice makes permanent) and are made of two things: intention and actions.
Intention is opening our hearts up to others like a form of empathy.
Actions is, well you guessed it, acting on it.
And the best part about this is that it can start small. It can be smiling at and greeting your students first thing in the morning, or complimenting Billy on his new shoes.
We can take this a step further and extend positive words of encouragement or admiration to a fellow teacher or motivate the entire class with riveting words (more on this later).
Or if gift-giving is your thing, perhaps you can bring some treats to your class.
That’s the beauty of this chapter. It’s up to your interpretation and as a role model/leader of your classroom community, make sure you lead by example.
I truly believe that if you can act on the small things to practice developing your compassion, you’ll become that one teacher that students will remember years down the road (not just for one student but many).
Be that compassionate teacher that kids will run through walls for!
3. Let Others Have the Glory (Ch. 9)
If you feel like you tend to seek attention or desire the approval of others, this one may come as a wonderful challenge to be pit against.
Dr. Carlson quotes:
“There is something magical that happens to the human spirit, a sense of calm that comes over you, when you cease needing all the attention directed toward yourself and instead allow others to have the glory… Ironically, when you surrender your need to hog the glory, the attention you used to need from other people is replaced by a quiet inner confidence that is derived from letting others have it.” (p. 25)
Now how could this look inside the school setting?
Example 1) Ms. Strawberry gets excited about how she tried a new classroom management strategy (that you’ve implemented a long time ago) and tells others how it was a success.
It would be SO easy to shift the attention back to you…
“Yeah… I did the same thing about 10 years ago. Works like a charm!”
Awesome. Great. Way to steal Ms. Strawberry’s thunder. But was this really about you…?
What about how Ms. Strawberry’s feeling of accomplishment?
Maybe in some way, there’s some guilt or shame that she could have implemented the same strategy a decade ago.
Example 2) Jennifer Jigglypuff asks for advice on how to start a banger of a hook to her essay. You discuss the topic and you think that she should begin by “jumping into the action.”
Imagine the essay is *mwah* chef’s kisses of a paper once she’s finished and you ask her to share her story with the class.
As much as you’d like to acknowledge how her hook was almost entirely inspired by you, take a moment and step back.
It’s her spotlight.
I feel it is important to remember how we should operate in the classroom setting.
Let’s show appreciation and applaud from behind the curtains when it is their turn to be on stage.
4. Ask Yourself the Question, “Will This Matter a Year from Now?” (Ch. 16)
This is another personal one that I struggle with to this day.
I am very much well aware that I can be stubborn and always wanting to prove that I’m right in some shape or form… especially when actually feel that I’m right.
Dr. Carlson uses an interesting game that he plays in his head called “time warp.”
“To play ‘time warp,’ all you have to do is imagine that whatever circumstance you are dealing with isn’t happening right now but a year from now. Then simply ask yourself,’ Is this situation really as important as I’m making it out to be?’” (p. 45)
One time I had a 3rd grade student who always seemed to argue with me (sometimes just because, to be honest) and one morning she was reciting rap lyrics to a song by, I want to say, 21 Savage.
I asked her if she even knew what she was saying aloud and she said no.
I proceeded to tell her what some of the underlying meanings of those lyrics were (I kept it as rated G as possible) and when I was done explaining, she bluntly said “Not it’s not.”
So let me get this straight…
You just said that you didn’t know what these lyrics meant and…
I guess we’re just going to assume that my 26-year-old brain’s interpretation has zero credibility and is just flat-out wrong.
Usually, I would have left it alone and moved on with class, but I swear this particular student just seemed to disagree with almost everything that I said.
So naturally, I did NOT let it go…
I was basically Prince Hans that day (if you know, you know).
And looking back on the memory, it was funny but there’s a part of me that wished that I could just let things go to save time to really do what my purpose is as a teacher: To teach.
So feel free to use this the next time you get caught up in the moment with a student, teacher, or parent.
Will this matter a year from now?
And that’s how we draw that line of what it means to be a professional.
5. Every Day, Tell at Least One Person Something You Like, Admire, or Appreciate about Them (Ch. 46)
I gave a brief sneak peek of this back in the #3 but what I really enjoy about this is conceptualizing the return on investment you’d get by doing this with minimal effort.
What I mean by return on investment is that people truly want to be acknowledged and it’s a small thing to “pay” (not the best choice of word but it relates to the finance thing) to reap large benefits for someone else.
We mentioned how letting others have their glory is a healthy thing to manage within the classroom but what if we could intentionally funnel glory their way?
Now I’m not talking about praising each student to where they can only function if they receive kind words, but giving a quick “shout-out” to someone.
It’s a random act of kindness and this works.
In fact, here’s what I’ve picked up on since my college days.
I read somewhere how powerful ‘sticky notes’ can be. I would write something I appreciated about them. This could be a certain act they’ve displayed towards another student or how much progress they’ve been making in a certain area.
To this day, some of my students have these sticky notes laminated in a frame by their bedside.
One time, another student gave me a gift that looks like fool’s good and she said how much she was excited about having me as a teacher for the rest of the year.
Moral of the story?
Show your appreciation to another coworker or student to really make their day, or even create a long-lasting memory.
Why?
Because holy crap. This thing works.
UPDATE (2/4/2024): I was playing an online video game on a lazy Sunday and I wanted to show appreciation to a random stranger for his skill at the game.
His response?
“Lol. Who cares? Shut up and play.”
…
Okay so maybe it doesn’t work all the time… but it was worth a shot right?
6. Breathe Before You Speak (Ch. 55)
This is one of those habits that we can all implement in our daily lives if we remember to.
So what do we do?
You just have to pause for a few seconds when someone is done talking during a conversation.
Now, I don’t mean like when a random student comes up to you and asks,
“Are you Mr. Park?”
I highly recommend that you do not pause for 5 seconds before responding with,
“Why yes child it is I, Mr. Park.”
Obviously, don’t be weird with it but I’m talking about a good conversation or even when you are feeling your emotions are rising to the surface.
Example 1) If you’ve been asking for Billy’s permission slip for a field trip that day and you still don’t have the permission slip after asking Billy if he has it, this might be quite frustrating. But pause for a few seconds to collect yourself before expressing such frustration. The world will still revolve and there might be an alternate solution worth exploring.
Also, have you ever wondered why this is considered good practice during interviews?
According to their website, Indeed claims that it can help articulate our thoughts better.
So breathe, think, and respond.
Practice, practice, practice!
“This harried form of communication encourages us to criticize points of view, overreact, misinterpret meaning, impute false motives, and form opinions, all before our fellow communicator is even finished. No wonder we are so often annoyed, bothered, and irritated with one another…” (p. 136)
7. Read Articles and Books with Entirely Different Points of View from Your Own and Try to Learn Something (Ch. 61)
“As for me, all I know is that I know nothing.” - Socrates
I really wish that more people could humble themselves more often.
We have to accept that we can’t know everything. It is impossible because we each have the same 24 hours a day and we all spend it differently.
While I am writing this blog, someone is out there either attending a cooking class, on YouTube learning how to change a timing belt, or practicing the proper football throwing motion.
As teachers, we need to humble ourselves always. We are learners, first and foremost.
We gain unique experiences within the classroom with each passing lesson, student, and day.
At the same time, we are all at the core, very different people so sometimes our opinions and experiences may not always be correct.
Sometimes the strategies we employ in class will not work with every single student and we need to constantly learn with each mistake. And with the concept that we are all prone to mistakes, there is a constant reinforcement that we are not perfect or correct all the time.
I urge you to challenge your own thinking often. Pick up a book, listen to conflicting views, or attend controversial conferences.
In class I often have a lot of energy and as a lesson goes on, I noticed my voice tends to get louder. By the time the lesson ends, I’m usually tired from all of the speaking. However, I thought I had to do this to make sure that I always spoke over the students.
Then one time I tried something new that has made a long-lasting impression on me.
I tried speaking quietly so the students had to make sure that they every movement and whisper they made could not jeopardize my next word.
I learned that contrary to my normal habits and thoughts, learning and trying something new is a fantastic way to mold our brains. It’s forcing us to constantly “get comfortable with the uncomfortable.”
“Have you ever noticed that practically everything you read justifies and reinforces your own opinions and views on life?… Liberals, conservatives—we’re all the same. We form opinions and then spend our entire lifetimes validating what we believe to be true.” (p. 149)
